The Smart Phone for Lazy People.

Posted on Posted in Crowdfunding

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Robin. Here we go. Yet another smart phone start up offering to outcool Apple’s Iphone. This time they are offering OOh Awh trumpets please…”cloud based storage”. For those of you not familiar with such a means you store your stuff on someone else’s computer somewhere else. From what I can discern from the pitch this means that you don’t have to plug it into your computer to offload your pics and other stuff.  If you are wondering if this is the same as that other technology called “icloud” well..basically yes.

But according to these tech guys and their “kickass” team it looks “badass” too. Yes they said it and No it does not “kickass”. It’s teal. Teal and “badass” do not compute. Honestly, It looks like Tupperware made it..or Mary Kay..or some Swedish guy with a teal fetish..but it doesn’t look “badass”.

Neverending pic storage.

But it can hold more pics so you don’t have to delete anything..which you should..because someone will go through your pics eventually and find embarassing ones..some day..even when you are dead..then your family will suffer the humiliation and your legacy will be dead too.

It promotes laziness.

“It’s hassle free, the way everything should be.” They actually wrote this sentence but don’t believe it. If you try for a hassle free life you will end up working at McDonald’s and having a more hassle intense life.  (Though no offense to those people who actually cherish some sort of regular, non lethal form of employment.) But seriously, everything shouldn’t be hassle free. That’s really dumb logic. For example: “Wow. I wish making a phone was hassle free. Wait. Poof! It is. So I’ll just make my own and not buy this one.” See…not smart.

It promises you will be cool.

“Robin is for people who are tired of the status quo and crave something with more personality.”
Sorry guys. A phone doesn’t give you personality. In fact, it probably gives you the opposite. Regardless, if you had a personality you’d probably buy a Motorola flip phone and just chill the f**k out and talk to other people.

The people you don’t really like will be impressed.

It’s got some nifty shit like backside blinking lights, so you can show people at your next dinner party and it allows you to one up those chumps who are always going on about their f**king iphone. (Actually this is a huge bonus..because f**k those people right!”

Wait, wait wait..hold the phone..It only costs 100 bucks? I take back everything I just said..except the “kickass design” part. It still looks like something you would buy at Ikea.

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